Nowadays there are extravagant, outlandish ways to share just about any news. Social media feeds are clogged with creative gender reveals, promposals, first days of school, and so much more. But what if the thought of telling your partner you’re pregnant is making you feel less like you’ve got butterflies dancing in your belly waiting to explode outward into a creative insta post, and more like you’ve been punched in the gut?
The Stats
Breaking the news of an unexpected pregnancy can be nerve-wracking to say the least. Please know, you are not alone! According to the CDC, forty-nine percent of all pregnancies can be classified as ‘unintended’. That’s almost half of all pregnancies in the US!!
Married, Single, In A Relationship, Unsure?
The status of a relationship, or even the lack of a relationship, can be an influencing factor when approaching an unplanned pregnancy. Though many situations may seem to have black and white answers, I would challenge that nothing is really as uncomplicated as it may seem from the outside. Many married couples are contemplating abortion for a variety of reasons, while women incurring pregnancy outside of a relationship are choosing to raise a child/children on their own. Communicating with your partner is the first step in the process of choosing what is right for you.
To Test Alone, Or Not Alone?
Some women suspect they are pregnant and inform their partner right away. In these situations, the partner is often present when the ominous test results come back. For many other women, that test is taken in painstaking solitude. With a positive result comes the burden of knowing and having to share that knowledge – usually requiring some degree of tact. Chances are you’ve got some conflicting emotions raging inside of your own head right now. It’s okay to take some time to absorb the information; and it’s okay to be unsure.
Choosing A Venue
When you’ve determined that the time has come to tell your partner that you’re pregnant, the next question becomes, ‘how?’. Plans should be made to have the conversation in a private place, especially when unsure how your partner is going to feel about being pregnant . This gives space for him to react honestly.
Give Him Time
Once the news is out there, give your partner a few minutes. Allowing time for your partner to absorb the information may be difficult – but it’s important to entitle them to the same time you had to process this.
Responses May Vary
Reactions can range from ecstatic, to furious, and everything in between. Sometimes a lack of reaction may occur, and can be even harder to endure. More often than not, though, some degree of fear is shaping his response. Recognizing this can change the way you view your partner’s reaction. Give time, and plan to converse again once everyone is thinking clearly.
If the response was one filled with anger which manifested into abuse, or has become abusive in the past, please call for help! Abuse is never okay and there are people equipped to help! You can always call a 24/7 domestic violence hotline if this is your situation: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
What Mya Can Do for You!
For more information on how to tell your partner that you’re pregnant, or information on how to tell your family or friends – call Mya Women’s Center to schedule an appointment today!